aunionline | First Announcement of the Year

[There is a splash screen that is like one of those cliche news bulletins in the opening of the video before everyone is greeted by the jovial and pleasant smile of Jim Kevins, Dean of Admissions, in his office which is decorated with all sorts of dildos, vibrators, dick paraphernalia, and so on.]

Welcome! Congratulations to those who are just joining us this year. We are very serious about who we invite into our community, and you are those who we have found to be a perfect fit for our diverse society. I'm Jim Kevins, Dean of Admissions, and on behalf of all our staff here, I would like to say that I hope your first week was a wonderful experience, and I hope the same of the weeks to come for all of you.

If anyone has any questions about anything in particular, and haven't been able to find answers, feel free to comment and a faculty member will get back to you as soon as possible. Also, if you're having trouble connecting with people on campus, why not try connecting with people online?

W͝e'͝re ͝herè ͡f̀or you̵.

[His smile widened, and blink and you miss it, something kind of like this happens for a single frame only it's just Jim Kevins, Dean of Admissions, before the news bulletin splash closes the video and it ends.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is that a fucking vibrator on your desk?

You would know, wouldn't you?

Why yes I would, actually. Only have one cock, brother of mine, can't fill all slots with only one tab.

This bloke must have hundreds of slots, then.

Hold on a mo

That's a horrendous mental image.

We're already on the subject. How many slots do you suppose he has, then?

Aren't mobiles banned in your weird fucking house? Doesn't that break Victorian Impersonation Code or some bollocks like that, you bloody bizarre bastard?

No need to be rude now, chummy. It would seem that mobiles have become somewhat unavoidable these days, though it has been requested that we all glue some gears on and call it steampunk.

All the same, you ought to join me. You'd quite like it.

Steam-what now? Is this some sort of anime thing? Look, only bit about all that I've any interest in is the girls with the short skirts and the pig tails, I haven't the time for things with GEARS on them.

You're bloody weird, brother. Honestly, a bit touched, I'm afraid. When you decide to rejoin the rest of humanity, give us a ring, yeah? I'll actually set you up with something nice, sweet, and small.