[There is a splash screen that is like one of those cliche news bulletins in the opening of the video before everyone is greeted by the jovial and pleasant smile of Jim Kevins, Dean of Admissions, in his office which is decorated with all sorts of dildos, vibrators, dick paraphernalia, and so on.]

Welcome! Congratulations to those who are just joining us this year. We are very serious about who we invite into our community, and you are those who we have found to be a perfect fit for our diverse society. I'm Jim Kevins, Dean of Admissions, and on behalf of all our staff here, I would like to say that I hope your first week was a wonderful experience, and I hope the same of the weeks to come for all of you.

If anyone has any questions about anything in particular, and haven't been able to find answers, feel free to comment and a faculty member will get back to you as soon as possible. Also, if you're having trouble connecting with people on campus, why not try connecting with people online?

W͝e'͝re ͝herè ͡f̀or you̵.

[His smile widened, and blink and you miss it, something kind of like this happens for a single frame only it's just Jim Kevins, Dean of Admissions, before the news bulletin splash closes the video and it ends.]